Ivana Trump and Other Stuff

Hello. It finally rained. Hooray. Maybe the garden'll come back from the brink now. How perfect is the red of the centre of this bromeliad? Say what you will about them, they ask for so little and give so much. If you want to know more you'll need this book by Andrew Steers:
Thank God you can't kill my Joan Salvia's with a blowtorch.
Bad at gardening? Lots of dead patches and empty spaces? Stay Calm. Don't panic.
Follow my lead and shove a $2 bunch of faux flowers in the ground! Hey Presto your Garden Woes are solved! No one will ever be the wiser!

Someone said they like to see if they can read the titles of my books. I'm here to help.

Look:

and here are some more! Aunts Up the Cross by Robyn Dalton is one of my favourite books EVER! Run Don't Walk.

You know how I sometimes like to channel a sort of 1980s-resort-style outfit-wearing-Ivana Trump?

like here actioning Resort Wear in Pucci:

or here actioning a sort of resort style look in bright pink?

well the other day I was wondering past a little fancy pants boutique arrangement in my suburb (which if you've been reading you know I hate to leave) when I saw a crazy kind of colourful caftan style thing that you could imagine Ivana wearing at a Trump resort circa 1987 when she was still married to the Donald and rocking really nice tangerine polish and a big beehive hairdo. Look:

It's so Me! I love a wacky caftan! Plus it was $25 down from $89! The fabric is everything I want in a resort style top.

Meanwhile tonight I might read this:

As a child I had a board game called Snakes and Ladders. Disturbingly today I clocked this evil varmint on the roof of my courtyard:

Let's hope it doesn't figure out how to climb this ladder and access the interior of my home:

(Mum can you show this to Dad and ask him if it is just a harmless tree snake?) EDITED TO ADD my Dad just called me and it is a harmless tree snake and he says it doesn't want to come inside!

I am getting really excited about the Red Phoenix Emporium FF Leo Necklace Launch.

The e-vites have been sent. Outfits are being planned. Hairstyles are being discussed. Polish colours are being workshopped (look I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is Not a Blog about World Peace).

Thank you to everyone who left such interesting and thoughtful messages on the "How did you find this blog?" thing. I've loved reading your answers. I am not judging the winner til next Monday so feel free to pop down there and action a response if you can be bothered. Remember, there's an exciting prize for the winner!

Our Leader's Birthday

In all the excitement I forgot to say it was Our Leader's Birthday this week. Happy Birthday Jackie. I think she was a Typical Leo- fussy about her hair, into luxury, attracted to the spotlight, loyal. I think if she lived she would have been 81. Isn't this scarf attractive?

Here's an interview podcast with Kitty Kelley after her death in 1994.

My Competition for how you found this blog is still open! Exciting prizes are up for grabs for my favourite entry! Like an OPI nail polish! Feel free to share your story on the post below.

How did you Find this Blog?

Hello People. This is a little pottery whatsy that my Mum gave me. It shows she knows what's important to me!

I am fascinated to know how people stumbled across this blog. If you leave a comment with a story I'm prepared to send the most interesting answer a Present! I haven't decided yet. Maybe an OPI nailpolish. Maybe a book. If you live locally I might bake you a cake! Or invite you to the FF RPE Leo necklace launch! Please share you story. I'll judge the winner when I get to say, I don't know, 50 comments. Feel free to embellish! Be honest-if you hated it at first but then became converted share that too!

Here are some Valentino Frocks from the lovely Valentino Themes and Variations book:

Have you remembered your story about how you found me yet?

Here's Oprah. Her hair looks so nice:

I wore this again today (It's Red Phoenix). I also wore a super boring black cashmere twinset.

and my nails sported this OPI Pamplona Purple polish. You all know the story- Mr FF sourced it from Scotsdale Arizona when he was playing golf in the desert (apparently the shopping was excellent. Who knew?)

and I wore this stripey cashmere scarf arrangement sourced from Honkers (My Spiritual Home) from a cut-price cashmere that no longer exists (it was a Cashmiracle that shoppe. I miss it).

It was market day today so I bought this $4 bag of beans from the lady farmer who drives up from Stanthorpe ("The Thorpe" to those in the know). I respect anyone who lives in sub zero temperatures (sometimes even in summer) and can handle being the coldest part of the state night after night after night. Please buy your products from her- they are the best. Really. She also has superior leeks, lettuce rocket and parsley. And lots of other nice stuff too.

I walked home tonight in the rain. I know. The Commitment! My 4 kilo rucksack got all wet too. But I was determined. It's probably quicker than the bus anyway.

Ok, let's get those stories of how you found me coming in! You'll get bonus points if your story is funny, or if it makes me cry (with emotion, not with say fury). You'll also get bonus points if you started reading at the start, back in December 2009 when I was posting snaps of my Holiday Tree every second day.

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Valentino, Jackie and Other Miscellania

Hello People. Here's Our Leader with Mr V in Capri in August 1970. Say what you will about them, they exude Glamour. Plus they knew how to stay slim and action Good Hair. What's not to love?

This is me at the Coalface today in Anna Sui with OPI Pamploma Purple polish.

It's an RPE necklace, the Wintour Mark 2. Don't forget the FF Leo Necklace is being launched to the masses on 5 August. If Courier Mail Shopping blog editor is reading Hello! And see you at the launch!

Meanwhile he's some stuff from my china cabinet that I like staring at. Because I find it soothing and comforting (if you're wondering) This dish arrangement is from Honkers. Aren't the colours nice?

Say what you will about Fake Flowers, they do not die.

Grandma gave me this trio in 2004. It was part of her aunt's wedding china from England. I never use it because I'm scared I'll break it. I love it 11/10.

Valentino and I have tonnes in common. He isn't afraid to tan.

and neither am I. Everyone knows it makes you look slimmer. Dr G ("Dermatologist to the Stars") says to avoid the sun between 10 am and 3pm, but as far as I'm concerned that' the best time to be on a beach.

I have a book called "Valentino -Themes and Variations" by Pamela Golbin. All these pretty pictures come from it:

this is the same shade as my Shoshana dress really:

I would love to own a copy of this Visionariness:

And this coral number is 11/10. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I know- wouldn't it look Killer with Revlon's Make Mine Mango? A match made in Heaven

I love this. It would've suited Our Leader. Or anyone really.

and my silver bird statue thing from Black and Spiro sends its regards to you all.

I'm on day 2 of consuming large amounts of vegetables and water and actioning exercise. I'm not going to lie to you, I miss carbs, sugar, butter, being slothlike and cocktails. But I'm still kind of focussed. It's a lot of admin, but I'm doing to be determined and stick with the programme for the next 10 days of my life.

Cheerio x

FF's Wish is Granted

Hello People. Today I was wearing this silk jade green Chloe top (95% off on sale!) at the Coalface when the phone rang. A voice Spoke to Me and Said:

"FF you shall go to the Fancy Pants Valentino Exhibition Opening on Friday the 6th August!"

I know. I was super excited too. You know how much I wanted to go. After all, he was Our Leader's Favourite Designer until Mrs Herrera took over. So now begins my Outfit Quandary.

What to wear. I've just looked at the outnet.com I could wear something like this Pringle red frock:

Or maybe this Valentino beaded cocktail frock arrangement

or I could pretend to be Tilda Swindon in I am Love and frock up in this Jil Sander number


But I wasn't sure, so I skipped over to my friends at bluefly.com and found this by someone I've never heard of before called Marc Bouwer Glam It (I think). It's a bit Lacroix-esque.

But the thing is, I'm meant to be embracing thrift. I do own a few "Touch of Red" frocks. You've all seen this Shoshana one. It's got perspex beaded whatsies on it.

and I'm also very partial to this See by Chloe number:

Thoughts? Insights?

Meanwhile I am Turning My Life Around. For the next 2 weeks of my life I'll be in Training for the Red Phoenix Emporium FF Leo Necklace Launch. Willow Lotus and I got together ages ago and channeled Karl Lagerfeld and Amanda Harlech at Chanel and threw around Nonsensical Fashion Phrases like "Organic" and "Visionary" and "Collaborative Journey" and we "Challenged the Paradigm" like no one's business and created a necklace so fabulous that grown women will weep. Weep I tell you. In a good way. Willow won't let me see it yet though.

It's a surprise.

So in honour of my launch I am embracing the following:

Salad. I know. It's so Healthy and Low in Fat.

I'll be eating lots of these vegetable products and I'll be walking home from the Coalface at the rate of knots with my 4 kilo rucksack. It's the New Me. Exercise. Healthy eating. Minimal puddings.

I hardly know who I am anymore.

There are so many good things on tv tonight-that fabulously bossy Ruth on Country House Rescue. Olivia Palermowhatsy swanning around Elle Magazine where she allegedly "works"on The City. Glen Wheatley on Australian Story. Malcolm Turnbull on Q and A. So much Choice.

Cheerio.

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