Monday, October 31, 2011


Prepare yourselves emotionally, because I pulled out all stops for Halloween and drew a face on an over sized American style pumpkin with a permanent marker. Don't be disappointed-I was going to carve a face but I knew I'd cut off a finger or something. Some little kids knocked on my door dressed as witches yelling Trick or Treat. It was dead set cute. I gave them chocolate.
This is how the Kennedys actioned Halloween. Back in the Day.

Speaking of the Kennedys, Jackie and I have stuff in common you know. Look at how she embraced blue and white china and hippeastrums in her Manhattan flat-

And she loved to mix patterns. (Elton John owns that horse painting now. In case you're wondering)

She liked what can only be described as a Big Holiday Tree. It looks real too. My only criticism is that she could've gone in harder with the ornamnets. I mean, I know she's Our Leader, but some of those branches are (crosses self) bare.

What's everyone doing for Melbourne Cup, and more importantly, What are you Wearing?


Sunday, October 30, 2011

Jackie Tapes

Ordered this book from the the and have loved reading about Our Leader's thoughts on Life in the White House. Hard to believe she was only in her early 30s then. I wish Arthur had asked her more personal questions. But let's face it, she probably wouldn't've answered them anyway. She doesn't talk Fashion. More's the Pity. Can't wait to listen to the tapes.


Line in the Sand

You know how I'm gardening in the Old Testament and doing daily battle with drought, floods, possums, rats, snakes and plagues of locusts? Well I have met my match. Something very bad has happened in the the FF Garden. Filthy bush turkeys have dug up my poppy seedlings, my parsley seedlings, my bromeliads, my baby agaves and other assorted precious plants. Some of which I had grown from seed.
I know. I am really really mad too.
Here's a soothing picture of a cake my friend S made to lower your blood pressure (It was 11/10 by the way)
So tonight, after seeing all my dead plants scattered about the traps, I drew what can only be described as a Turkey Line in the Sand.

Google reveals that apparently for $185 a qualified expert with a special wild life permit will come to your home and arrange for the turkey to be relocated.

You have messed with the Wrong Person's Garden.


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Queen Rocks a Pink Frock

Ok I think this is my favourite outfit so far! I love it how the Queen's Tour Uniform is a colourful patterned silk frock +colour block coat + straw hat + huge diamond brooch + pearls + black patent leather bag (apparently it's 30 years old). She's looked fantastic every day. And I know she's done it all a million times before and so's the Duke, but there they are, smiling and waving like it's all brand new. This tour has been a massive success and I for one will be sad when it's over. Sadly the garden's being destroyed by filthy bush turkeys who are digging huge holes and ruining everything in sight.

The Queen's flowers get sent to nursing homes. Look:


Monday, October 24, 2011

I saw the Queen

Today I stood in the sun for 2 hours to catch a glimpse of the Queen!! Here she is with the Duke and her Lady in Waiting. She wore a pistachio green coat and a silk dress and she looked beautiful. She has amazing skin. She was carrying her black bag and had on black shoes and gloves. I can't describe the crowds and there was some serious pushing and shoving going down. It was so hot- a lady next to me fainted.

I wore a truckload of SPF 30 plus and a big hat. This was me:
2 hours before she arrived this was the crowd that had gathered

Apparently people were lining up at 6am. Here's a snap of the Queen's hat that H took-

These construction workers had the best vantage point. Jealous

The Duke and the Queen both looked amazing. Security people picked out some kids to be pulled over the barrier to hand the Queen flowers. I love it how she loves children. Naturally I taped the whole thing on foxtel IQ and when I got home I could pick us all out in the crowd. We met some great people. Two tall uni students held up A (who is 10) so she could see everything (Thanks Alan and Sam, you guys were great!) and a nice man next to me told off some sneaky space encroaching types who were trying to muscle in on us and block our view/crush us.

The baby watched the Queen's boat sail up the river in the comfort of airconditioning. I have a really cute photo of that that I will have to figure out how to post.

It was exhausting but worth it.


Friday, October 21, 2011


So many people are dressing like Ole Mrs D that frankly, it's becoming hard to keep up. Don't you love how she scaring the socks off little Joan Fontaine in this snap?

Here's Our Karl being all Visionary and Channelling Mrs Danvers with the lovely Charlotte. And here's my vintage Barbie actioning a sort of Mad- Men- Does- Danvers Vibe:

Some astute readers pointed out that O'Brien from Downton Abbey is a bit Danvers-esque.

Mess with Mrs Danvers at yor own peril.

She'll point out how your husband's dead 1st wife had far fancier fur coats and reinforce the fact that your clothes and sense of style are Hardcore Second Rate.



Don't think that I am the only one who likes lying under the tree and staring at it.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

She Always Gets It Right

The Queen is a True Fashion Icon and Never Gets it Wrong. How good does she look in this pink jacket and green frock earlier today? As usual she rocking a brooch and wonderful hat. The Governor General looks excellent too.
11/10 both of them.


I couldn't figure out if the Queen was wearing mauve or lilac but she was definitely colour blocking and looked amazing. Only 4 more sleeps til she's in town!

She and the Duke look fabulous in hats.

Meanwhile sometimes only a gratin will do. This one's cauliflower. Make sure you use gruyere cheese and nutmeg. Trust me. It's just tastier.

See how this top arrangement looks like it's Pucci? Well don't be deceived! It's Missoni! Hopefully it will become a Summer Wardrobe Stalwart.

I love its big buttons.

Some filthy greedy varmint has eaten my white iceberg rose petals. Typical.

And I see Carla's had a baby girl! Apparently Mr Sarkozy missed the birth because he was trying to sort out Greece.

We're a household without hot water tonight. I know. I'm sad too. The flash new hot water system gets installed tomorrow morning. I for one am 110% excited.